You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Randomize
