so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
i out mim tonsoeep
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
