how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize