tell your sister to shave her snatch
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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