yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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