The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
