I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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