I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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