there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So vagazzling was a success
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
