Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Damn victory sex feels great
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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