it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize