I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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