Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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