Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
