the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize