i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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