tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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