I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
