Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
