apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
