you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
