Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
