i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
