Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
the gays at disneyland are vicious
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
