and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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