its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
