So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
