walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
