I bet he comes in French.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
