That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
