it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
