They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He has the fingertips of a God
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