Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
