I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
