So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
