drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Couch. On fire.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
