apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
