Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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