You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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