I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
