God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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