your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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