wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
