I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
