alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
