ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I came so hard my ears popped.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
