I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
