He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
