So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It was like giving head to a cactus.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
