She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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