a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
