I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
are you so shy because you have an std?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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