hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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