I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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