P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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