....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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