She is in my trunk
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
