just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
This is my gift to your gina
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize