i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
