I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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