I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
